Your FAQs

Does pregnancy diminish a woman’s sexual desires?

Every woman responds differently. The changes that make one woman feel more sensual can make another want to avoid sex altogether.
During the first trimester, many women suffer from fatigue, hormonal fluctuations and morning sickness that may occur all day and night. These factors may result in your partner being disinterested in sexual intercourse at this time.

My partner has suddenly become kinky and wants to indulge in role playing. Is this normal?

Some women find pregnancy a period of sexual indulgence, free of obstacles and without reservations, particularly if they have found contraception methods were an interruption or psychological boundary. For some, increased blood flow around the abdominal area promotes the sensitivity and enjoyment of sex. This can lead to heightened sexual experiences for both of you.

My partner has no desire for sex. Is it me?

Some pregnant women avoid sexual contact because they feel they have lost their figure and are no longer sexually attractive. You may be able to help her overcome this by showing enthusiasm for her voluptuous shape.
Very rarely some women feel infinite loathing for sex while pregnant based on an unconscious fear of injuring the foetus. These fears may also arise if an earlier pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Be gentle and understanding. Shouting and sulking will not improve your situation. Perhaps suggest alternatives to sex such as cuddling, sensual massage or mutual masturbation.

I’ve gone off sex. How can I stop this damaging our relationship?

You must be honest with your partner as she may interpret your lack of interest in sex, as a lack of interest in her. Discuss your emotions and let her know that you want to solve this difficulty. You may find other options that don’t involve sexual intercourse to show your love. Sensual massages, sharing a relaxing bath or creating a romantic environment may be ways to be intimate without having to be sexual.

My partner says the baby squirms after we have sexual intercourse. Is there something wrong?

Sometimes the baby may move around after an orgasm. This is due to the increased blood flow triggered momentarily following an orgasm. It is not considered dangerous.

How often can we have sex without danger?

There is no frequency that is considered ideal and as long as your pregnancy is not considered high-risk, there is no reason why you cannot make love to each other as often as you want. Frequency may vary month to month depending on the couple. Often women lose interest in sex in the first trimester as a result of fatigue and sickness. By the fourth month energy often recovers and brings with it new waves of sexual desires.

Do men find pregnant women attractive?

To some men there is nothing sexier than a woman bearing his child. Few men are repelled physically by their partner’s shape but it does happen. It is usually a temporary reaction and should not be considered by the pregnant partner as rejection.
Many men find their partner even more sexually attractive during pregnancy due to a surge of femininity that comes with the “glow” of pregnancy. It is possible, however, that this attitude originates from more deep-rooted emotions of love.

How soon after the birth is it safe to have sex again?

This may depend on your partner’s birth experience and whether or not she had a vaginal birth, caesarean, episiotomy or tearing. It may be six weeks or so before scars have healed. Your partner will also experience postnatal bleeding, which may last a few days or as long as six weeks. Be sensitive when discussing this with your partner.

What can I do to help my partner feel more comfortable during postnatal sex?

Be gentle with one another and build things gradually. Perhaps avoid penetration and instead concentrate on caressing, kissing and oral sex to aid arousal. Until your partner’s hormone levels are back to normal her vagina will not be as lubricated as usual. Try using a water-soluble lubricant or share a warm bath prior to foreplay. If your partner has had an episiotomy be gentle and ask her if she is experiencing any pain. Try different positions if there is discomfort.

Can breastfeeding affect our sex life?

Having a baby almost always affects your sex life, no matter how the baby is fed. Physical recovery from childbirth takes time in itself. Being a new mother is a 24-hour-a-day responsibility and can be exhausting. Many women combine breastfeeding with an active and enjoyable sex life but some women do find that their interest in sex is less whilst they are feeding. Don’t rush it.

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