Marcus’ Story

Marcus admits to developing sympathetic pregnancy symptoms.

Marcus, aged 35, shares some of his experiences and transition leading up to becoming a father.

“In the beginning I found it difficult to adjust to some of the changes I saw in my partner. But I quickly learnt to accept it. For example, I just let her mood swings wash over me. I knew they weren’t personal. Early on I learnt that she liked to be comforted: having massages and for me to stroke her while I gave her a hug. I also made sure that I read some books about pregnancy, attended some classes and asked questions of our midwife.

The strange thing I felt was that people were always asking my partner how she felt and never inquired as to how I was going. I felt ignored and was annoyed that my feelings were always being overlooked. I guess I had a decrease in confidence as I felt the increase pressure to support my partner because she seemed more fragile.

I also found myself getting quite protective over our privacy. People would expect to be told everything in detail and we both really didn’t want to be recounting lots of personal details and experiences to everyone!

During the pregnancy I experienced a few sympathetic symptoms such as getting up and going to the bathroom three or four times a night. I never used to before.

Other issues we’ve had to deal with during the pregnancy included when to tell people. Like many couples we decided to wait until the three month mark although I leaked it out to my parents in the eighth week. We also had to agree on the right term. ‘Up the duff’ and ‘bun in the oven’ didn’t go down too well.

Financial pressure would be the biggest on going issue although I think we have it under control. A slight problem has been my partner feeling that not working is having a negative affect on her ‘mental’ wellbeing.”

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